What Is Authentic Communication... and Are You Missing It? A Neurodivergent Perspective
- Schoen Clinic UK
- Jul 31
- 4 min read
By Amrita Mahal, Advanced Speech, Language & Communication Therapist at Schoen Clinic Chelsea
At Schoen Clinic Chelsea, I work with many neurodivergent adults who share a common experience: they struggle to express what they are really thinking or feeling. Some have spent years communicating in ways that do not feel true to who they are.
This is where authentic communication becomes important.
What Is Authentic Communication?
Authentic communication is not about saying the “right” thing. It is about saying the real thing.
It means expressing your thoughts, needs and emotions in a way that feels natural and safe for you. It is not about following unspoken social rules or trying to play a role just to fit in.
For neurodivergent adults, or those who experience social communication differences, this can be especially challenging.
Common Signs You Are Struggling With Authentic Communication
You might find yourself wondering:
Do I avoid eye contact because it feels overwhelming, yet still feel pressured to do it?
Do I find small talk difficult to start or maintain, even when I want to connect?
Do I know what I am feeling but struggle to put it into words?
Do I hide my emotions to avoid conflict or judgment, and later feel completely drained?
These experiences are very common, especially in autistic adults and individuals with ADHD or anxiety. In some cases, they may be linked to a trait called alexithymia.
What Is Alexithymia?
Alexithymia means having difficulty identifying, describing or expressing your emotions.
People with alexithymia often say things like:
“I feel something, but I don’t know what it is.”“It’s all a bit of a blur.”“I know I’m upset, but I couldn’t explain why.”
Alexithymia is not a diagnosis. It is a trait that affects about one in ten people. It is especially common among autistic adults and those with a history of trauma. It can make it much harder to communicate openly with yourself and with others.
The good news is that support is available.
Why “Masking” Can Lead to Burnout
Many neurodivergent people learn to “mask,” which means hiding or suppressing their natural communication style in order to blend in socially or avoid judgment.
You might:
Force yourself to make eye contact, even if it feels uncomfortable
Try to suppress stimming or movement-based self-regulation
Script conversations in advance to appear more socially typical
Avoid talking about your emotions completely.
Although masking can sometimes help people navigate certain environments, doing it too often or for too long can lead to emotional exhaustion, anxiety and burnout. Over time, you may start to feel disconnected from your own identity.
This is why authentic communication is not just a preference. It is an important part of protecting your mental health and reclaiming your voice.
How Speech and Language Therapy Can Help Adults
As a speech and language therapist, my goal is not to change the way you communicate to make it more “normal.”
Instead, I help you:
Understand and appreciate your natural communication style
Explore tools and strategies that support self-expression
Build confidence in speaking up about your needs in a way that feels safe and sustainable.
This might involve spoken communication, writing, visual aids or gesture-based tools. We work together to find what fits you best.
What Authentic Communication Might Look Like
There is no single way to communicate authentically. It might look like:
Saying, “I don’t feel comfortable with eye contact,” and feeling no need to apologise
Using writing, drawing or visual tools to express your thoughts
Naming emotions in your own time, without pressure
Setting boundaries around social interaction based on your energy levels
Letting go of unspoken rules that do not support your wellbeing.
Try This: A Simple Communication Check-In
If you are not sure where to begin, try this short reflection exercise:
Step 1: Think of a recent moment when you struggled to say what you meant.
Step 2: Ask yourself:
What did I want to say in that moment?
What stopped me from saying it?
What might have helped me feel more comfortable expressing myself? (For example, writing it down first, using a visual prompt or asking for more time)
There are no right or wrong answers. This is about building self-awareness and treating your communication needs with care and curiosity.
You Deserve to Be Heard in a Way That Feels Right for You
Communication should not feel like a performance.
You deserve to speak, write, sign, gesture or take time to rest in a way that respects your identity and honours your energy.
You do not need to be perfect. You just need to be yourself — understood, supported and heard.
Need Support With Communication?
If you recognise yourself in any part of this article, know that you are not alone. There is support available.
At Schoen Clinic Chelsea, we offer speech and language therapy for adults, including those with autism, ADHD, alexithymia or other social communication differences.
👉 Get in touch to explore how we can help.
About the Author:
Amrita Mahal is an Advanced Speech, Language & Communication Therapist at Schoen Clinic Chelsea, with over 18 years of post-graduate clinical experience.
She specialises in supporting children, teenagers and adults with a wide range of communication, voice and swallowing difficulties, including those linked to autism, ADHD, brain injury and progressive neurological conditions.
Amrita plays a key role in autism assessments at Schoen Clinic Chelsea and offers specialist support for neurodivergent individuals navigating communication challenges in daily life. Her areas of expertise also include advanced dysphagia management, professional voice care, and trans voice and communication therapy.
With a warm, person-centred approach, Amrita is passionate about helping each person find their authentic voice, and communicate in a way that feels natural and empowering.
